


As I Lay Breathless

by AeonTheDimensionalGirl



Series: I’ve Got You (You’re Safe Now) [13]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Declarations Of Love, Deviates From Canon, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Near Death Experiences, Poisoning, Post-Magic Reveal, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Snarky Merlin (Merlin), Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26974417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeonTheDimensionalGirl/pseuds/AeonTheDimensionalGirl
Summary: Captured by bandits, Merlin discovers that Arthur may not actually hate him for his magic after all.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: I’ve Got You (You’re Safe Now) [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939345
Comments: 28
Kudos: 796





	As I Lay Breathless

**Author's Note:**

> **PROMPT No 13. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT**  
>  Delayed Drowning | **Chemical Pneumonia** | Oxygen Mask
> 
> For those of you who don’t know ~~because I sure as hell didn’t~~ according to webmd, _Chemical Pneumonia_ is an unusual type of lung irritation, an inflammation of lung tissue that comes from poisons or toxins, which include liquids, gases, and small particles, such as dust or fumes.

It’s been a sennight of silence from Arthur’s side after he discovered Merlin’s magic, when the King comes into his room and stoically tells him that they’re going hunting.

The raven won’t lie, he’s been terrified and anxious for the whole week, so hearing his friend come in to announce that is so out of the blue that he can’t help but stand perplexed for a whole minute until Arthur’s now distant bark of “Now, _Mer_ lin!” snaps him out of it.

“You don’t think his planning on murdering me in the woods, do you?” Merlin asks Gaius as he packs for an overnight stay in the forest. He doesn’t want to think ill of Arthur (his head is still attached to his shoulders after all) but the warlock has the beginnings of a bad feeling settling in his stomach.

“Have some faith, my boy” his mentor says.

“I do” Merlin murmured, “But nothing good tends to get out of hunting trips between us”

“Well then, perhaps this time things will be different” Gaius kindly replies, “Be a little optimistic”

Merlin gave him a raised eyebrow.

“When has that ever worked well for me?” he asked with slight exasperation.

Gaius raised an eyebrow back.

“Alright, I’ll try to be” the raven relented.

He gave his mentor a wave of goodbye, grabbed his pack and left the Court Physician chambers to meet Arthur at the castle steps, where the horses were already ready for departure.

The King simply gave him a curt nod of acknowledgement before mounting Llameri. Merlin had to hold back a sigh as he mounted his own mare, mourning the lack of banter. He missed talking to Arthur, and he missed even more not being looked at as he’d never been known.

Both men exited the Camelot citadel and Lower Town in silence.

* * *

They’re well into the journey to the best hunting grounds when Merlin breaks.

“So…” he starts to say, biting his lip, “Nice day, isn’t it?”

Arthur doesn’t say anything, choosing instead the side eye him for a moment before staring back at the front.

“Arthur” Merlin called, feeling tired, “Why have you asked- no wait, you actually demanded- for me to come to a hunting trip with you, if you’re still going to give me the silent treatment?” he hesitated, “I mean, by this moment you’re complaining that I talk too much -”

“Quiet”

The King had stopped his horse, shoulders tense.

“Please don’t be like this-”

“Merlin, do shut up for a moment and listen” the blond barked.

The warlock complied, thinking for a moment that Arthur was going to start talking, when he noticed it.

“I don’t hear anything” he noted, the feeling of dread growing by the thousand.

“Exactly”

And then hell broke loose.

Bandits came out of different directions, waving swords and crossbows while surrounding the King and warlock, who shared a look between them before trying to make a run for it-

The tale-tale noise of bolts being released flew over Merlin’s ears, and he watched in panic as one nearly landed on Arthur’s back. The raven prevented the next ones from harming both of them by shouting a spell that vanished the bolts from existence, and took the opportunity to get rid of a good amount of the bandits by using another silent spell and throwing them to the tre-

A pinch to the back of his neck threw him of his horse, the warlock landing hard on the ground at the same time the edges of his vision went black.

 _‘This time things will be different’ my ass_ , is the last thing Merlin remembers thinking before losing awareness.

* * *

It’s a vile taste and smell on his mouth and nose what makes Merlin wake out of unconsciousness.

The first thing he feels it’s the gag on his face, bound tight enough over his head to give him a headache. The second and third things he notices is that there is a necklace of rope around his neck, while his hands are bound in front of himself, both tied up with a rough, uncomfortable rope; and he’s lying against a cold and hard inclined wall.

Coughing against whatever toxin is in the rag, Merlin opens his eyes, only to close them again, moaning when a dizzy spell hits him.

“Ah, the servant is awake now”

Groggily, the raven opens his eyes again, slower this time, and tensing almost immediately when he takes in the scene in front of him.

Arthur is chained in front of him, sporting a cut lip and a furious expression, while another man stands in between them, looking amused at the same he holds the King at sword point.

“Well, he’s awake, remove that rag” the King turned to look away from Merlin to their captor, voice dangerously low while the warlock frowned in confusion-

“And let him do magic?” their captor asked, snorting when he saw the raven tense further, “Oh yes, we saw you” he said before turning to look at the blond, face merry, “But what I’m finding more surprising is that you, Arthur Pendragon, do not seem surprised that your servant is a sorcerer”

Arthur simply glared at him.

Merlin’s breath hitches when realizes that he must have been trying to convince the bandit to remove the gag while the raven was unconscious. Did that mean-?

“It’s drugged with toxins” the King hissed, “Surely you know what it will do to him if it stays long”

Death, Merlin thought with distress, remembering his physician training. And if the rag had been on his face for a while then that meant-

He tried to access his magic- but it was futile. He’d been drugged long enough for it to have become muted, feeling it only as a faint tingle under his skin.

His attempts also caused him to have another coughing fit. Merlin tried not to curl into himself when a tingle of pain shot though his chest.

“Yes, yes, the servant will die” the bandit waved his hand idly, “As much as I would like to keep this sorcerer for myself or sell him for a good amount of coin- did you know that King Lot back there in Essetir has enforced the magic slave law? Practically asking for people to bring magic users to him- I saw what he did to half of my men, I’m not taking any chances. The rag stays on. And he dies with it”

And with that said, he left his two prisoners alone in the cell, whistling all the way out.

When the whistle faded, Arthur immediately stood up, making way towards Merlin-

And scattered backwards, the chain that’s tied to his bounds and connected to the wall falling short.

The King glared at it. If Merlin wasn’t feeling dizzy, he would be laughing at the blond’s attempts to melt the chains with his eyes.

“How much can you move?” Arthur asks him, turning to look at him in a painfully familiar way of concern.

Blinking back the dizzy spell that threatened to overwhelm him, Merlin attempted to test his own -

And realized, to his dismay and frustration, that the rope was long enough to just kneel there, connected to a hook on the ground. He couldn’t stand up properly, not take a step back or forward, left or right; he was rooted to the spot.

To make things worse, removing the gag was also impossible, the rope around his neck must be connected to a hook on the wall like Arthur’s, and it’s just as short as the one in his hands. He can’t rise his arms, and he can’t bow his head.

Merlin turned back to look at the King with distress, who looked perturbed.

“Is-” Arthur hesitates for a moment, “Is your magic truly gone?”

Biting his lip under the cloth and trying not to let his surprise show at the clear concern in the blond’s voice, Merlin closes his eyes for a moment.

His magic continues to be a small tingle under his skin. It was there- but it wasn’t at the same time-

But there was something he could do, despite the toxin he was breathing.

 _“Yes and no”_ he shyly spoke in Arthur’s mind.

And alright, this time, no matter how ill advised, he did laugh when the blond jumped a feet in the air in shock before he glared at the warlock, opening his mouth-

 _“Before you even ask me why haven’t I used magic when I’m clearly doing so, allow me to clarify that mind speak is not the same to spells and enchantments”_ Merlin explained, beating him to it, smiling through the gag.

Arthur nodded, pursing his lips before looking away as a tense silence took over the room.

Uncomfortable and not standing the smell of the toxin (Merlin could not recognize it, no matter how hard he tried), the raven tried to wiggle out the rag out his face, but it didn’t even loosen and it granted him another coughing fit that left him feeling breathless.

“Why did you study sorcery?” Arthur’s soft voice brought him out of the new dizzy spell.

 _“I didn’t”_ Merlin revealed, _“I was born with magic”_

Arthur frowned.

“That’s not done” he said. But even then, he sounded unsure.

 _“And yet here I am, Arthur”_ Merlin deadpanned, trying to ignore a sudden burning in his throat, _“My mother can attest to it, apparently I levitated in her arms moments after she held me for the first time”_

A thought came to him.

 _“Is that-”_ he paused for a moment, unsure, _“Is that why we went ‘hunting’? So you could-”_ he coughed hard again, and Merlin let himself lie against the wall as he tried to remember how to breathe and trying to will the burning on his throat away.

 _“So you could interrogate me?”_ he finally manages to weakly finish, opening his eyes to stare at troubled sapphire eyes.

The raven doesn’t mean to sound accusing, but he’s trying not to fall into panic as he feels the effects of the continued exposure of the toxins in his body and well- the stress has to come out some way.

“This isn’t an interrogation” Arthur says almost immediately before flinching, “This-” he looked away, keeping quiet for a moment, “This is me, trying to understand something I’ve been told that it’s evil all my life” he finally revealed, turning to stare at Merlin, “The reason I was avoiding you- it’s not excuse, I know this- but I wanted to gather my thoughts, and I feared that I would lose my temper on you”

Merlin felt his eyes burn with gathering tears.

 _“I thought-”_ he whispered, looking down at this shoes, _“I’ve always known you’ll be mad when you discovered my magic, but I-”_ he forced himself to blink back the tears, _“I- I thought you hated me”_

The quiet and detached “Get out” Arthur had given him after saving his life from an assassin had been plaguing his thoughts constantly for the whole seven days the King had refused to have him in his presence and Merlin feared that all the moments they’ve shared- small and lingering touches and stares; the laughs and the private jokes- he feared them gone.

And to hear Arthur say that-

“Why would I hate someone who has stayed by my side no matter what? And who I probably own my life for a lot of things I can’t even count?” the King asked, suddenly looking forlorn, “I don’t know why you’ve stayed though, Camelot is not a friend to magic, and gods, if I had your powers I would have turn myself into the ass you say I am”

Merlin’s snort turned into another coughing fit that had him seeing stars.

 _“I’ve been tempted”_ he faintly managed to say, turning to look at his distressed King.

“You’re getting worse, aren’t you?” Arthur whispered, looking pale.

Merlin nodded to his best ability, closing his eyes as he felt another sting of pain on his chest.

There was no point in hiding it.

“Hold on, alright?” Arthur said, smiling gently at him, “I know for a fact that we’ve been captured for a whole day, the Knights should have noticed by now that we haven’t come back. We’ll be out of here in no time and Gaius will do his job”

He looked so confident and sure.

Merlin didn’t have the strength to tell him that it might be too late by then.

_“Alright”_

* * *

At the end, their escape is granted by the cheer stupidity of the same men who were clever enough to ambush them.

The bandit comes after a few candle marks, the rest of his men following behind-

And Maiden’s mercy, if Merlin didn’t feel like shit, he would be laughing.

There’s only three of them left.

Well, at least he managed to reduce the numbers.

“Seems to be like my friend did a little more than half your men” Arthur noted.

Two of the bandits glared at him, while the leader gritted his teeth, turning to look at Merlin before doing a clear double take.

“You’re still alive?!” he exclaimed.

“ _Mer_ lin is a known stubborn idiot” the King idly commented with a small smirk.

 _“And you’re a known stubborn prat”_ Merlin mumbled in Arthur’s mind. But he still smiled under his gag, and Arthur returned it.

“Whatever, it’s only a matter of time now” the bandit hissed darkly as he smirked, “He looks like shit and his breathing is short, Pendrag-”

Arthur punched him under the jaw, looking furious.

“You’ll regret that!” the leader exclaimed before throwing back a punch to the King.

Merlin cried out in alarm as the three men rounded the chained Arthur and began beating him. Knowing it was futile to try, but not standing watching his dear friend be hurt, the raven desperately researches deep within himself, fighting against the toxin that’s muting his magic-

And the sound of a sword becoming unsheathed and looking about to make contact with his King’s throat does it for Merlin.

He screams through his rag, body burning in pain as he feels his magic snap out like a whip.

The effort leaves him panting and feeling dizzier than before-

But when Merlin manages to open his eyes, Arthur is free from his bonds, two of the men lie dead, and another one is trying to get up.

They exchange a quick look.

To the best of his ability with his bonds and weakened state, Merlin manages to kick the bandit under his legs, making him stumble onto the ground, giving Arthur opportunity to grab the fallen sword and stab the man.

Quickly, the King walks over to the heaving warlock, cutting off his respective bonds on the hands and neck and finally removing the foul gag from his face-

Merlin wants to thank him, but his throat fails him and with it another coughing fits attacks him.

He’s faintly aware that Arthur is helping him off the ground and placing one of his arms over the shoulder while the other hangs on his side.

“Let’s go” the King says, voice urgent.

Despite the pain and dizziness, the raven forces his body to cooperate.

Helped by Arthur, they half-walk, half-run over what appears to be a deserted stone fortress that’s been hiding in the woods; and all the while Merlin is trying his best to ignore the sudden headache and the chest pain that has extended to his abdomen-

Another dizzy spell makes him stagger back and sway on his feet just as they exit the abandoned ruins.

“Merlin?”

The blond’s worried voice sounds away, despite being right next to him and Merlin just manages to look at him when his breath feels like it abandons him and he wants to vomit and his knees aren’t holding him up-

He collapsed in Arthur’s arms, feeling himself black out for a moment-

When he came to, it was to feeling calloused hands cradling his face, Arthur’s distressed face above his.

“Merlin?” he whispers with fear clear in his voice.

The raven tries to open his mouth to talk, but what comes out is a violent wet cough that makes his chest and stomach ache further. He doubles in pain, tears of frustration running down his face while he feels his King gently rocking him and running his fingers through his hair.

 _“I feel so weak”_ he whispers in Arthur’s mind.

“You’ll be alright” the blond said at the same time he gathered Merlin into his arms and lifted themselves up, the raven barely managing to grip the King’s coat, “I recognize these grounds, there should be a patrol around somewhere”

Breathing hurt-

_“Arthur-”_

“You’ll be alright, _Mer_ lin-”

_“It’s too la-”_

He was cut off by having another coughing fit, and this time Merlin did retch, throwing his head to the side to heave out the toxins from the rag-

And was horrified to discover that instead of vomit, what came out was mucus and blood.

Arthur had deposited themselves in the ground at one point, for he continued to hold Merlin all the way, rubbing his back as he continued to heave and pant and cough and oh, gods, he felt like he couldn’t breathe-

“Ar-” Merlin tried to say between his fit. Sobbing when he realized he couldn’t talk, he switched to the mental link-

 _“You wondered why I stayed in Camelot?”_ he weakly whispered, hoping that he had enough time to tell-

Arthur seemed to realize where he was heading, for he pressed their foreheads together, his eyes panicked while shaking his head.

_“My magic… it was all for you”_

“Merlin-Merlin come on-” he begged, caressing the warlock’s face, “Breathe- just- try to-”

But Merlin couldn’t. His chest hurt too much, his throat felt like it was closing up-

_“I stayed for you”_

“Merlin- no, please-” Arthur was sobbing, and Merlin wanted nothing but to wipe his tears, and he weakly managed to rise his hand to place it on his King’s cheek, the blond holding on to it as he kept begging him to stay-

_“I love you”_

And the darkness takes him.

* * *

When Merlin wakes, he’s bewildered to discoverer that he’s a) In what clearly is Arthur’s bedchambers, b) Lying on Arthur’s bed, and c) Alive and feeling not much like he was trampled by an angry Kilgharrah.

And- next to the bed, with his head pillowed in his arms is-

“Arthur?” he weakly manages to murmur.

The King’s head immediately shots up, looking around in clear wariness, when he notices who called him.

They stare at each other for a moment, breaths slightly erratic from both sides before Arthur’s face softens and whispers, almost reverently-

“Merlin”

And before the warlock registers what’s happening, the blond is placing his lips on his own, while a thrill runs through Merlin’s spine as his eyes flutter close, about to return it-

Only for Arthur to break it up, the King looking slightly mortified while the raven simply stares as delight begins to flutter in his chest-

“I’m sorry-” Arthur stammers, cheeks flushing, “I- er- you said-”

Merlin decides to end his misery.

“I know what I said” he whispers, smiling as he raises his hand to Arthur’s cheek, “And I meant it”

“Oh- thank the Mother-” the King exclaims in relief, “You had me a little worried back there, nearly dying in my arms just as the Knights came around and all that-” 

Merlin simply laughs before pulling their faces back together, deciding that the best way to shut Arthur up is to kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> I believe in love confessions while dying. 
> 
> Yes, I’ve written this before. 
> 
> Yes, I’ll do it a hundred times again.


End file.
